Shitake in pants

Friend asked:

Have you ever walked into a restaurant and smelled
 vomit?

No but once I was the source. We’d gone to this new fish eatery in Encinitas, in 1992 I believe it was, and my gf and I were in separate cars for some reason. So we were both driving back to my pad in LJ but separately.

Anyway something was wrong with the fish served at this new place – my gf’s sister’s bf had eaten with us too and started vomiting on the way back to his place, which was the marine barracks he was a jarhead.

Anyway, on the way home violently bubbling stomach trouble hit me and I had to pull into a jack in the box off the freeway and barely made it into the bathroom before exploding with diarrhea all over my pantalones, everywhere. So, what I did was is just strip down and come out of the stall b. naked and start washing my underwear and what had gotten onto my pants in the sink, wringing out the feces, then I went back into the stall to put my now wet but relatively clean clothes back on, not really caring about the fine layer of shitake I had left all over the formica sink countertap and inside the sink bowl, oh it was horrid. Just seconds after I went back into the stall, A J in the Box employee came in and gasped in horror and revulsion at the foulness before him, so I stayed in the stall a few minutes to avoid seeing him, and then slipped out as soon as he was gone.

Come to think of it, I made that kid who left pee on the toilet boil before me that I told you about last week seem like a scrubbed clean angel compared to the fecal mess I left behind.


Friend response:

Haha that is really well written. 

I had a similar experience at a McDonald's off the 99 or 5 
somewhere on a long travel. Crapped my pants in the 
car but was able to just throw away the underwear when
 I got in the bathroom, with minimal overall damage so 
to speak. 

Funny

And I said:
Any shitake in the pants is bad, yes. This was practically an entire bowel movement released before clothing could be stripped, oh horrid, mon ami.